This podcast episode is part of the Huberman Lab series hosted by Dr. Andrew Huberman – a Stanford neuroscientist known for exploring science-based tools for everyday life. In this installment, Huberman welcomes Dr. Richard Schwartz, a renowned psychotherapist and the founder of Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy. Together, they dive into the topic of achieving inner peace and emotional healing by understanding and working with our “internal family” of mind.
Dr. Schwartz’s IFS approach is a unique form of therapy that shifts the focus inward, onto the different parts of one’s own personality, rather than just external circumstances or relationships. He explains that each of us has multiple sub-personalities (or “parts”) that can carry emotions like anxiety, anger, or shame. Some parts act out in protective ways, while others hide our deepest wounds. Throughout the conversation, the host and guest outline how recognizing and communicating with these parts can transform negative feelings – instead of being ruled by inner critics or fears, we can learn to turn them into sources of strength, confidence, openness, and compassion.
This episode is especially engaging because it goes beyond theory. Dr. Schwartz actually guides Huberman through a live IFS session, allowing listeners to hear (and even feel) what this kind of inner work sounds like in practice. Later, he even leads a brief exercise for everyone listening, inviting the audience to follow along and connect with their own emotions in a new way. The dialogue covers the science behind IFS (now backed by peer-reviewed research) and its practical implications – showing that many of our negative reactions stem from a few core protective patterns inside us. By the end, listeners gain insight into how those patterns can be understood and shifted, offering a path toward genuine inner calm and healing.
Key Takeaways
- Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy teaches that the mind isn’t a single monolith, but is made up of many distinct “parts” or sub-personalities. It’s normal to have conflicting inner voices or feelings – one part of you might be critical while another is hurt, for example. Instead of viewing these inner voices as symptoms of disorder, IFS sees them as members of an internal family that can learn to work together.
- Much of our emotional pain comes from “exiled” parts – the vulnerable child-like aspects of us that carry trauma, shame, or hurt from the past. When we experience trauma or deep hurt, we often bury these parts away because their pain feels overwhelming. The downside is that those exiled feelings can get triggered later, flooding us with intense emotion if not properly healed.
- Protector parts form to prevent our exiles from being hurt or exposed. IFS distinguishes two types of protectors: manager parts and firefighter parts. Managers are proactive controllers that keep us in line and manage our lives rigidly to avoid triggering any hurt, whereas firefighters jump in impulsively when we’re upset to douse the emotional flames (often through escape or distraction).
- Manager parts are one class of protector in IFS – these are the inner voices that preempt problems by exerting control. A manager might appear as a harsh inner critic pushing you to be perfect, or as the part of you that people-pleases and avoids conflict, all in an effort to keep you safe. Managers operate behind the scenes to prevent any situation that could trigger your deep vulnerabilities.
- Firefighter parts are the other type of protector – they leap into action when an emotional crisis breaks out. These parts drive our sudden urges to escape pain: for instance, the impulse to binge eat, drink, rage, or even emotionally shut down when we’re overwhelmed. Firefighters are less about prevention and more about immediate relief: they’ll do whatever it takes to snuff out unbearable feelings, even if the methods are unhealthy.
- Crucially, IFS holds that every part – no matter how destructive it may seem – has a positive intent. Your inner critic or your bingeing habit isn’t “out to get you,” but is trying to protect you from deeper pain (albeit in a misguided way). This reframe helps cultivate compassion for oneself: instead of self-blame, you begin to ask, “why is this part acting this way, and what is it afraid of?”
- The goal in IFS therapy is to restore balance by healing wounded parts and relieving extreme roles. This process centers on accessing one’s core Self – a state of deep calm and compassion – and letting it lead the internal dialogue. When the Self is in charge, protective parts can relax and wounded exiles can finally express themselves and let go of their pain.
- During the episode, Dr. Schwartz guided Andrew Huberman through an actual IFS session, which vividly illustrated how this works. Andrew focused on a strong anger he felt in a recent conflict and literally “asked” that angry part what it was trying to do. He discovered that his anger was protecting him from feeling misjudged and from potentially lashing out in an even more harmful way – a revelation that helped the anger subside.
- In that live demonstration, the simple act of curiosity toward a painful feeling transformed it. Andrew’s initial instinct was to dislike or suppress his frustration, but once he approached it with an open mind, the feeling “softened” and provided insight instead of just anguish. This showed listeners that even the emotions we find most troubling have something to tell us when we listen.
- The episode didn’t just talk about these techniques – it actively involved the audience. Dr. Schwartz walked listeners through a step-by-step exercise to identify and converse with one of their own protector parts. By following his prompts (finding a part, noticing feelings toward it, asking what it fears, etc.), anyone listening could experience a bit of IFS therapy firsthand.
- A key takeaway is that developing a compassionate relationship with your inner parts can lead to profound emotional shifts. Instead of being stuck in cycles of anxiety, anger, or self-sabotage, people can learn to comfort their hurt parts and retrain their protective parts. Over time, this inner work fosters more self-understanding, resilience, and an enduring sense of peace.
- IFS can be not just a therapy but a daily practice. Dr. Schwartz suggests regularly “checking in” with your parts – for example, noticing each morning which emotions are present and offering them acknowledgment. By continually practicing this internal mindfulness, people gradually feel more centered and at peace, because no part of them is ignored or battling alone.
Key Points
The conversation delves into several major themes and insights, explained in depth below:
Origins and Core Concepts of Internal Family Systems (IFS)
Internal Family Systems (IFS) was born out of Dr. Richard Schwartz’s experiences as a family therapist who began listening to the “voices” inside his clients. In the early 1980s, while treating patients with severe eating disorders, Dr. Schwartz noticed they described complex inner dialogues: for instance, one part of them would harshly criticize their weight, another part felt utterly hurt and worthless, and yet another would urge them to binge-eat for relief. Fascinated by these descriptions, he realized that these patients weren’t just speaking metaphorically – they were revealing an internal system of distinct sub-personalities, almost like family members within their minds. This realization prompted Schwartz to develop Internal Family Systems as a new therapeutic framework.
At its core, IFS challenges the conventional idea that the mind has a single identity. Instead, it asserts that all people are made up of multiple “parts” or facets of the psyche. This isn’t the same as having multiple personality disorder; rather, it’s a normal condition of the mind that becomes problematic only when our parts are forced into extreme roles. Dr. Schwartz found that just as children in a troubled family take on roles (like the caregiver or the rebel), our inner parts assume roles in response to life’s challenges and traumas. IFS proposes that every part – even ones that cause distress – has a positive intention or protective purpose. The aim is not to eliminate these parts, but to help them return to healthier roles. Over the decades since its inception, IFS has gained recognition and scientific support as an empowering way to understand the mind and heal emotional wounds by treating one’s inner world as a system that can be nurtured into harmony.
Exiled Parts: Buried Wounds from the Past
In IFS, the most vulnerable members of our inner “family” are known as exiles. These are the parts of us that hold deep-seated pain, shame, fear, or sadness – often originating from past trauma or hurtful experiences. Dr. Schwartz explains that when something traumatic or upsetting happens, our mind instinctively tries to protect itself. The sensitive part of us that was hurt in that moment might become overwhelmed by feelings like worthlessness, terror, or heartbreak. Rather than continue to feel those unbearable emotions, we (often encouraged by social advice to “just move on”) lock away that wounded part. It’s as if we send that hurting child in us to their room and bolt the door. By banishing these raw feelings from day-to-day awareness, we create exiles: isolated inner figures carrying burdens of unresolved pain.
However, exiling a part doesn’t mean it’s gone – it still lives inside us, frozen in the past and longing for care. Having many exiled parts can leave a person feeling internally fragile. Because those burdens remain, certain triggers in life – a tone of voice, a situation reminiscent of the old trauma – can suddenly “open the door” and unleash a wave of intense emotion from an exile. Schwartz likens this to flames of pain that can flare up and overwhelm us, making it hard to function. The prospect of that happening is so frightening to the mind that it mobilizes other parts to step in and prevent it. In the IFS model, healing ultimately comes from gently revisiting these exiles, releasing their pain, and making them feel safe and valued again. But initially, much of the therapeutic work involves dealing with the guardians at the gate – the protector parts that keep those exiles locked away.
Manager Parts: The Mind’s Inner Critics and Controllers
To keep our exiles from being hurt again – or even from spilling their pain into our awareness – another set of parts takes on the role of proactive protectors. IFS calls these manager parts, and they act like the responsible, controlling family members of our psyche. Managers work tirelessly to prevent chaos and ward off anything that might trigger an exile’s pain. They often enforce high standards of behavior or thought: for example, an inner critic might constantly police our actions and appearance so that we “stay perfect” and avoid rejection. Other common managers include people-pleasing parts that try to keep everyone around us happy (so we never face conflict or abandonment), hyper-vigilant planners that seek to control every situation, and overachievers who drive us to work relentlessly (perhaps to counter a deep sense of inadequacy left by an exile).
While manager parts can be harsh or exhausting to live with, Dr. Schwartz emphasizes that they have noble intentions. A critical voice in our head isn’t merely parroting a cruel parent or sabotaging us for no reason – in IFS, that voice is desperately trying to protect us from failure or hurt. In the episode, Schwartz likened these roles to children forced to grow up too fast in a troubled home: it’s not who they truly are, but a role they had to assume. Managers operate by maintaining control: they seek to keep emotions in check and life predictable. However, life doesn’t always cooperate. When something breaches a manager’s carefully built defenses and an exile’s feelings flood in, the system turns to a different kind of protector – one that acts on impulse. (Those are the firefighters, discussed next.) Understanding our manager parts is key, because instead of battling with our inner critic or taskmaster, IFS invites us to appreciate why it’s there – and then help it relax its grip once it trusts that we won’t be harmed.
Firefighter Parts: Urges and Addictions as Protection
When emotional pain breaks through despite our managers’ best efforts, the psyche deploys a more drastic type of protector. These are the firefighter parts – named for the way they leap into action to douse the “flames” of intense emotion. Firefighters don’t care about long-term rules or consequences; their mission is urgent relief. For instance, if a wave of grief, fear, or shame from an exile threatens to overwhelm us, a firefighter might shove those feelings down by any means necessary. This can manifest as an overpowering urge or behavior: reaching for alcohol or drugs to numb out, binge-eating for comfort, exploding in anger to push people away, or even dissociating (disconnecting from reality) to escape mentally. In extreme cases, a firefighter part might generate suicidal thoughts – not because it truly wants to die, but because it sees “shutting everything down” as the ultimate emergency exit from unbearable pain.
Dr. Schwartz points out that many self-destructive habits can be understood as firefighter behavior. These parts operate on the belief that if they don’t act fast, the person might be engulfed by hurt – “If I don’t make this pain stop right now, something terrible will happen.” That’s why they often appear irrational or reckless from the outside. In the episode, Schwartz discusses how even a suicidal impulse, when approached in the IFS way, reveals itself as a terrified protector rather than an enemy. By asking a suicidal part what it’s afraid of (often the answer is “I can’t bear the pain anymore”), the individual can begin to address the root cause – the pain itself – rather than simply fighting the urge. The goal is to show firefighter parts that there are safer ways to protect us. Once the underlying exiles are healed and no longer erupting in flames, the firefighters no longer need to wreak havoc. They, like all parts, can assume healthier roles once they trust that the crisis has passed.
Self Leadership: The Healing Presence Within
A central pillar of IFS – and a major theme in the episode – is the concept of the Self. The Self is our core, undamaged essence: the part of us that isn’t a “part” at all, but rather the natural leader of our internal system. According to Dr. Schwartz, when we are in a state of Self, we embody qualities often called the 8 C’s: curiosity, calm, compassion, confidence, courage, clarity, creativity, and connectedness. In other words, the Self is patient, loving, and wise. It’s the feeling of being centered and authentic, and it has the capacity to understand and heal the other parts of us. One of Schwartz’s key insights is that no matter how extreme or troubled someone’s parts may be, their core Self is still there, waiting to be accessed.
The therapeutic process of IFS is fundamentally about helping a person’s Self step forward. In practice, this means encouraging the protective parts to relax their grip so that the person can approach their inner world with the curiosity and compassion of Self. In the episode, we see this when Andrew shifts from hating his angry part to gently asking it questions – that shift is essentially Andrew’s Self coming online. When the Self is in charge, exiled parts feel safe enough to share their pain and can finally be comforted. Likewise, protector parts feel acknowledged and can let go of their extreme vigilance. Dr. Schwartz describes the Self as the internal healer: once a client is in a Self-led state, that natural wisdom “knows how to heal these parts” through empathy and understanding. Achieving inner peace, then, is largely about cultivating this Self leadership. Instead of our inner critics or anxious defenders running the show, IFS teaches that our compassionate Self can lead, creating an internal environment where all parts feel heard and harmonious.
IFS in Action: A Live Demonstration of Inner Work
Talking about IFS in theory is one thing, but the episode brought it to life through a real demonstration with Andrew Huberman as the client. Andrew shared an example of a recent incident that left him feeling intense frustration and anger – particularly, he gets triggered when he feels someone is misrepresenting his feelings or motives. Dr. Schwartz invited Andrew to focus on that angry feeling and find it in his body. Andrew located it as a pressure from his midsection up into his forehead. Initially, he admitted he “didn’t like” this angry part of himself (it was, after all, causing him discomfort and conflict). Recognizing that resistance, Dr. Schwartz guided him to ask the disapproving parts of his mind to step back momentarily, so he could get curious about the anger without judgment.
Once Andrew was in a more open state, he began to dialogue with his angry part. He asked it (out loud, for the podcast’s sake) what it wanted him to know. Almost immediately, Andrew sensed an answer: the angry feeling was essentially saying “I’m here to help you discern the truth.” Through Schwartz’s gentle questioning, Andrew discovered that this part surges up to defend him whenever he feels misunderstood or falsely accused. It feared that if it didn’t take over by getting angry and assertive, then Andrew might concede to others’ false narratives about him – or worse, a different part of him might take control, one that would cut people off in cold judgment. In fact, Andrew realized there was an even deeper layer: behind the anger was a more vulnerable part that hates being mischaracterized, and another part that could grow bitter or hateful if he felt betrayed. The angry “protector” was fighting to prevent those outcomes, trying to keep Andrew truthful and principled without losing relationships.
As Andrew acknowledged these insights, his relationship to the anger shifted. Dr. Schwartz had him express appreciation to this part for trying to protect something important (Andrew’s integrity and relationships). With that, Andrew felt the intense sensation in his body soften and subside. The live exercise was brief but powerful – it showed how, in a matter of minutes, a person can go from feeling at the mercy of a painful emotion to understanding its purpose and feeling it lessen. Listeners effectively got to witness therapy in real time: a practical example of how curiosity and compassion toward one’s own inner experience can lead to immediate emotional relief and clarity.
Integrating IFS into Daily Life for Lasting Peace
One of the take-home messages from the conversation is that Internal Family Systems isn’t just a therapy you do in a clinician’s office – it can become a personal daily practice. Dr. Schwartz encourages people to build an ongoing relationship with their parts. In the episode, after the guided exercise, he suggested that listeners consider the session a “beginning of a new relationship” with that part of themselves. To maintain the progress, one should check in regularly. This could be as simple as each morning, asking oneself: “How is that part of me doing today? What does it need from me?” By making a habit of listening inwardly, we prevent our protective parts from slipping back into their old extreme roles out of neglect.
Schwartz shared that he personally does this every day. Before diving into his tasks, he takes a moment to sense which parts are active – Is there anxiety? Is there anger? – and to ensure his Self is in the driver’s seat. For example, he revealed that prior to recording the podcast, he noticed parts of him were nervous (perhaps a remnant from growing up in a family of prominent scientists, which left him with something to prove). He mindfully told those anxious parts, “I understand you’re scared, but trust me, I’ve got this.” Through a brief internal dialogue, he felt those parts relax, allowing him to speak calmly and confidently. Huberman noted that he hadn’t sensed any anxiety in Dr. Schwartz – a testament to how effectively this self-check-in works.
Making IFS a routine can lead to what the episode title promises: inner peace and healing. Instead of waiting for a crisis to address our emotional wounds, we cultivate a compassionate awareness of them day by day. Over time, this consistent practice can transform one’s inner world. Listeners are left with the empowering idea that they can continue this work on their own – treating their mind as an ecosystem that needs attention and care. By befriending our many inner voices and tending to their needs, we set the stage for lasting emotional balance. In short, IFS can evolve from a therapeutic intervention into a way of life, one that fosters patience, self-compassion, and a deep sense of inner harmony.
Conclusion
In “How to Achieve Inner Peace & Healing,” Andrew Huberman and Dr. Richard Schwartz deliver a message that is both insightful and empowering. By the end of their conversation, one thing is clear: inner peace isn’t achieved by suppressing our emotions or “fixing” ourselves from the outside, but by genuinely engaging with the multiplicity inside us. The episode’s journey – from defining the concept of having inner parts, to witnessing an anger transform through understanding, to inviting listeners to try it themselves – reframes personal healing as an accessible, internal process. The dialogue shows that our psyche, with all its conflicting voices and feelings, is not something to be battled. Instead, it can be befriended.
For listeners, this realization can be life-changing. Problems like anxiety, self-criticism, or addictive behaviors often feel like personal failings, but Dr. Schwartz offers a different lens: these struggles are driven by parts of us that are, in their own way, trying to help. That perspective alone carries a profound sense of hope and compassion. It means that beneath even our worst habits or most painful feelings, there’s an understandable human story – and a potential for change. And crucially, IFS suggests we all have a core Self capable of leading that change. The conversation highlighted that no one is “broken” beyond repair; the tools for healing are already within us, waiting to be tapped through curiosity and care.
The episode resonates on a practical level too. Huberman’s willingness to be vulnerable made the abstract idea of “talking to your inner parts” feel concrete and normal. When listeners hear him describe a tangible shift – an internal pressure easing simply because he listened to it – it invites them to consider what might happen if they approached their own anger, fear, or sadness a little differently. Dr. Schwartz’s step-by-step guidance further demystifies the process, making inner work feel less like a vague concept and more like a straightforward exercise anyone can try.
Ultimately, the conversation underscores a powerful paradigm: achieving inner peace is not about eliminating all inner conflicts, but about creating a harmonious relationship with ourselves. It’s about becoming the compassionate leader of our own internal family. Dr. Schwartz’s decades of experience and gentle wisdom, combined with Huberman’s scientific curiosity, make a compelling case that healing comes from understanding, not force. Listeners are left with practical techniques and a sense of optimism. The mind, they learn, can heal itself when each part is heard and loved. In sum, this episode is a call to meet our inner turmoil with empathy – and in doing so, discover that true peace is possible, one internal conversation at a time.